Temple Talk

Wow. That was stupid.

 

That will never work.

 

Your hair is a disaster.

 

No one wants to sit with you.

 

 

If someone said any of these things to my child, husband or friend, I would be incensed. How dare you say something so cruel to someone I love?

You’ve heard the expression “Tiger Mom”? I’d make that mom blush with shame. I would make sure that everyone knew: That kind of talk is not acceptable. It will not be tolerated. You’ll be asked to leave.

But here’s the thing. The person who said those things is someone I know. And the person they were directed to is someone I know too.

It’s me.

Isn’t that crazy? The very language that I wouldn’t accept coming from someone else, I’ll accept from myself.

I like to think that I have a reasonable level of intelligence. I have a healthy self-esteem. No one can take that from me.

Except me.

I remember one incident in particular. It was my turn to come up in front of the church and read the Prayer List to the congregation.

I know some people have trouble pronouncing names, but I’m pretty good at it. All those years of calling patients from the waiting room to the exam rooms, I guess.  So up the stairs I climbed to the microphone. I make it through the list without a problem.

Returning to my seat, I didn’t get the usual “Nice job” from my husband. After church, walking out to the car, I found out why.

Chuckling, he told me I had mispronounced a name. I had read “Stash” (as in ‘cash’), a first name. He told me that was a European name pronounced “St-ahhh-sh”.

Oh no. I was mortified. I hoped the poor man’s family wasn’t in the church to hear me bungle the name. And the voices started gearing up. “You’re so dumb! Why didn’t you ask someone to look over the list with you? You looked like a fool!”

My mind was working overtime to beat me down.

When I told my husband how I felt, he had to spend some time talking me down from my self-imposed ledge.

I did finally come to understand that the voices in my head have very little to do with the truth. They have everything to do with making me feel really, really bad.

That’s not my voice. And it certainly isn’t God’s either.

So when those insults start flying, and my self-esteem is bottoming out, I stop myself right there. I mentally take a step back and ask myself, “Who’s talking here?”  It sure sounds like evil.

I’ll ask Jesus to be my bouncer; he’s experienced at that. I pray that he will come and throw that voice out of the Temple. Because I ask, he will answer.

The Temple is where my heart and soul live. And you know what? I don’t tolerate that kind of talk in the Temple. Neither does Jesus.

You know what? Neither should you.

 

 

67 thoughts on “Temple Talk

    • Hi Jean! So I’m not the only one, huh? It’s taken me a long time to realize where these words are coming from, and I thought I was just being negative. But I really think all those words are meant to keep me ‘down’ so to speak.

      Time for some ‘Temple Tossing’! You wanna help me? LOL!
      Hugs and blessings my friend,
      Ceil

  1. This is so true…
    I’m always ready to beat the crap out of myself, for something I wouldn’t tolerate from others . Thanks for the reminder

    • Hi Barb! Isn’t it the truth? And for some reason, I think I deserve it. I have to remind myself too, which is why I can write about this.

      I am fine, you are fine. We just mess up sometimes, which is human. There’s nothing we can’t bounce back from if God is with us. Time to silence that voice with the knowledge of where it comes from, and where it needs to return!

      Thanks for commenting my dear! And for joining the Facebook page too. I really appreciate your support and wonderful friendship 🙂
      Have a good Wednesday (don’t work too hard!),
      Ceil

    • Hi Joyful! I like the way you say ‘silenced at once.’ Yes, at least I am aware is right. It’s the beginning of healing. I am not surprised that you know all about it and are already training yourself to beware.

      I do think that it takes a constant guard at the door of my heart. If it’s negative, my guard has to toss it away. At once!
      Thank you for sharing your strength!
      Ceil

  2. How beautifully (and perfectly) said, Ceil.
    Sometimes, I think that I am my own worst enemy. Thank you for reminding me who the enemy really is. It is Satan.
    I love this blog post.
    Truly,
    Jackie

    • Hi Jackie! I think you have it exactly. The evil knows what works, and for some reason, words that make me down seem to work really well. But I’m getting a little smarter every day. Phew!

      Thank you for being such an encourager here. I’m so glad you see some little point or idea in the posts. It means a lot. Thank you 🙂
      Have a wonderful Wednesday,
      Ceil

    • HI Deb! Thank you my friend. I loved it too because it made me really think about where those negative words are coming from, and where they need to go.

      We can make them ‘go’ with the power of God.
      Have a good Wednesday 🙂
      Ceil

    • Hi Denise! Thank you so much for your encouraging comment.

      And thank you for being such a lovely presence on Facebook too. I really appreciate your support Denise. You are a very faithful blog-friend, and I treasure that.

      Have a wonderful Wednesday 🙂
      Ceil

    • Hi Linda! Thank you Linda! I’m glad you can relate to the post today, and I hope we will both recognize the negative source of those words, and throw them out!

      Have a wonderful Wednesday 🙂
      Ceil

  3. I went to school with a boy nicknamed Stash.
    I never knew how to spell it!
    Thanks for the encouragement this rainy Wednesday morning, my friend.
    I carry your positive thoughts with me, you know. : )

    • Hi Bille Jo! Did you really? I wish I knew someone named Stash, it would have really helped me that day in church!

      Thank you for coming here Billie Jo. It’s so good to see you again. I hope your heart is healing and know my prayers are with you.
      I carry you with me too…
      Blessings,
      Ceil

  4. I had tears in my eyes because it sounds so familiar. I can really beat myself up. But the way you wrote it-like taking a stand against evil and against something we would never tolerate for a loved one- makes so much sense. What great perspective. Thanks, Ceil.

    • Hi Kathleen! Join the club sister, join the club.

      I think seeing it for what it is, complete nonsense and unacceptable behavior really works for me. Of course, it’s a struggle daily, but if I will just take a moment and discern the root of the words, I can get rid of it.

      We’ll work on it together, ok? I think having a buddy on the road is so important, don’t you?

      Have a wonderful Wednesday,
      Ceil

  5. Oh, that enemy of our souls surely does wander around looking for whom he can devour. And what better moment than right after you’ve led the congregation to the Healer of their souls.

    I’m joining you in refusing to spend more than half a second on that self-imposed ledge. The fields are white and ready for harvest. It’s roll-up-our-sleeves time. And we’ve got work to do.

    Love you, friend.

    • Hi Linda! You make such a good point about the evil really trying to get in after we have done something spiritually beneficial. I’m sure you have many personal stories of that happening.

      Thank you for joining in on the refusal to listen to that crazy-talk. We do have work to do. And to do it joyfully, we have to keep that joy front and center. Out with the trash!! In with the grace 🙂

      Hugs and blessings my friend!
      Ceil

  6. Well, as I see from the comments so far, it looks like you and I are in good company. I can totally relate to this, Ceil…as you might remember, have touched on the subject a few times myself. You were there to come to my rescue and encourage me. I think we need to do that for each as sisters in Christ, don’t you? I know that is is nothing other than satan whispering those ugly things in our ears, givng us permission to tear ourselves apart. Thank you for this post, sweet friend.

    • Hi Debby! I know you have written about this very topic. It’s a very rich one, isn’t it? And so many of us are bothered by these very powerfully negative thoughts.

      Yes! We should be encouraging each other. I love that you said that. That’s what blogging for me is all about. Encouragement and relationships. We can help each other regroup and try again.

      Always lovely to see you here Debby. Have a wonderful Wednesday 🙂
      Ceil

  7. Yep..guilty, so guilty. –as for pronouncing something wrong..we were at the library yesterday and I asked where could I find the books for Ireland? The librarian laughed..so goes, “AHland?” Yes, Ireland. No, she said..she claims I pronounce it AHland. I am sorry, I don’t see where thats funny,

    • sorry–hit send to quick..I have a deep mid western-southern twang..I was so embarrssed..my husband was laughing too. Why is it funny? I am so perplexed..I guess it is funny..I just never noticed, I guess.

      • Hi Linda! Oh my, that wasn’t funny. That librarian was a bit out of line, don’t you think? She probably has no idea how confusing and hurtful her comments can be. You just have to feel sorry for those people, don’t you?

        I’d be so embarrassed myself. But hopefully I would remember that the librarian is the one with the problem, not me. But I see that you understand my feelings in church that day…yuck.

        Blessings to you, my midwestern/southern friend,
        Ceil

    • Hi Jennifer! Isn’t it so sad that we are ‘terrible’ to ourselves? I don’t know where this comes from except evil. I truly wouldn’t let anyone talk to me like that. I’d just walk away.

      I’m glad you liked the post today, and could relate. We all need to treat ourselves as God does. As his beauties. Because we are!
      Hugs,
      Ceil

  8. Preach it, sister! Jesus being the bouncer! I love that! Guarding our temple for He who resides there is by His power and wisdom. Thanks for that reminder. You wouldn’t want to mess with the Master of creation and sustainer of life who is our Bodyguard! Well done!

    • Hi Floyd! Thank you for your encouragement here. I had to love that line about the bouncer too. He truly can throw all the bad stuff out, he just wants to be asked.

      I guess his movie should be called “My Bodyguard” right?
      Your comment made me smile 🙂 Thank you!!
      Ceil

    • Hi Lauren! Thank you for your supportive comment, I really appreciate it 🙂

      Oh yes, his truth is all laid out in the Bible. What gifts he gives. Priceless.

      I am having a good week! Had a good PT today. Week 4 now. Yay!
      Have a peaceful night my friend,
      Ceil

  9. This is a great post pointing out that we often are hard on ourselves more than is required and deserved. I have also known people who find it hard to forgive themselves for something they have done in the past and they carry this heavy weight with them which hinders progress and slows down their healing.

    If God has forgiven them their past sin; who are they to still hold on to it unforgiven?

    Thank you Ceil for your constant good posts.

    God bless.

    • Hi Victor! That is a good point about how people often find it hard to forgive themselves…even when God already has. I wrote something one time that is related to that thought. “I give it to the Lord, and then I always want to snatch it back.”

      It’s being human I guess. It’s hard to understand such mercy in our own limited minds. But the love and mercy of God will conquer us all. Thank the Lord!

      Hope you are having a good day my friend.
      Ceil

  10. Great word of encouragement. I believe that most of us Mom’s are like this. Some times I am not so strong at fighting it back or I take the abuse and don’t turn to Jesus to help me out! Thank you! NOW I will!

    • Hi Monica! You are right, that’s a good point. Mothers are just famous for beating ourselves up over our decisions. It does need to stop, because God didn’t call us to a life like that.

      Lets all fight back against that abuse! I love your desire to get out there and conquer. You go girl 🙂
      Ceil

    • Hi Pam! You are so right, we all have done it. I’m one of the worst. And it is so debilitating. I start to believe what I say. So bad for me.

      We have the power with God on our side. Come on over Jesus and clean out my Temple! I love that image.

      Thank you for your visit today 🙂
      Ceil

  11. Beautiful post, Ceil. One day after working extremely hard on co-chairing our home school group’s pizza dinner and talent show, I received an email full of advice on how to improve on something and avoid something else as to not repeat a mistake I had made. Where the author of the email meant well, (grant it it could have waited at least a week before being delivered instead of the day after), I took it bad and felt like a “dummy” for doing that or this wrong. I felt pretty beaten up, I helped myself in the matter, but needed to “get over” it with the help of some prayers and reminders. Like what you wrote. 🙂

    • Hi Patty! I know you did a great job for that dinner/talent show. I saw the photos, they were great!

      Don’t forget that you did your absolute best, which should be respected. If someone has some input, by all means give it. But it does nothing to lower your contribution. (Where is the underline thing? I need to underline ‘nothing’!)

      I know that most of the time people mean well, just like you said. But it doesn’t stop the getting hurt sometimes by what they say. I know you will ‘get over it’ with prayer. Just ask the Lord to ‘bounce’ those negative thoughts. He’ll be right with you. He loves you! (And he thinks you did a good job too…)
      I love your heart Patty. I’m so glad we know each other 🙂
      Ceil

  12. Ceil, that’s amazing, or God’s blessing to me, that you should have written about this today of all days. I was saying some of those same things to myself just today, as I was speaking to a group of 25 people. I agree, I wouldn’t say those to others, or allow anyone to say those to someone I love, but I was okay with downgrading myself. I forgot that those thoughts and words have power. I am now going to thank myself for having the courage to speak and trying to help others. Thank you for reminding me to love myself as God loves me.

    • Hi Jeanette! Well, that’s a pressure situation and of course you want to do well. I think that’s when those crazy words start to gain some momentum, we all would feel so vulnerable.

      Thank yourself, and thank God for giving you that courage! I bet you were awesome Jeanette. You have really found your calling, and you can speak for those who can’t speak for themselves.

      Thank you for making a comment! It’s always so fun to see you here 🙂
      Ceil

  13. I am always so relieved when someone does the thing I do. And it’s even better when they have a solution. It’s a lot of work to monitor your thoughts, but I think you’re right here. It’s worth it and necessary. Good word, Ceil!

    • Hi Diane! So great to see you! I’m relieved that so many people can relate to this too. We’re all in the same boat. We all struggle.

      It does take a lot of vigilance. But we can do it right? We have God and his grace on our side.

      I hope you have a restful night my friend. It’s so good to keep connected.
      Ceil

  14. Hi Ceil,
    the carnal mind can make such a big issue out of such a small thing can’t it. Does it really matter if we pronounce a name wrong when we do not know how it is pronounced. There is no shame in not knowing how to pronounce every name in the world.

    • Hi Brenda! Oh course you are right. It doesn’t matter at all. It certainly wasn’t done maliciously. But that’s what evil does. He finds the weakness and bears down on it.

      I do need to stop listening to that silly voice that wants me to feel so bad about myself. If I can recognize it earlier, I can throw it out.
      Thank you for your visit today 🙂
      Ceil

  15. Dear Ceil,
    oh, my…God has really been pointing out the same thing to me lately, so I was nodding my head in agreement as I read your words…I love that image of Jesus as the bouncer in terms of getting those awful lies out of our heads ….because Jesus convicts us of sin but never condemns us for natural mistakes 🙂 blessings to you 🙂

    • Hi Dolly! Thank you for that confirmation. God wants us all to stop listening to that silly talk. I think it’s easy to get confused, but all we have to do is ask for help. We will never be condemned for making a mistake, as you say.

      As long as we are aware, we can ask the Lord to fight for us!
      So nice to see you today Dolly 🙂 Have a peaceful night,
      Ceil

  16. Dear Ceil
    Wonderful post.
    You are such an inspiration.
    I have been there and beat myself up and felt I was deserving of it but I am sure God did not think so.

    Blessings to you, Ceil

    • Hi Margie! So great to see you here! Thank you for your kind words about the post.

      Let’s agree to get better at not taking abuse. We need to tell that evil to ‘get lost!’ With the Lord at our side, it will happen 🙂

      Blessings to you my friend,
      Ceil

    • Hi Linda! Thank you for that confirmation!

      I pray that we will all reject the negative chatter and see it for what it is. Absolute nonsense.

      Thank you for your visit today!
      Ceil

  17. Ceil, are you inside my head? 🙂 …I have been working on this very thing. I didn’t realize that I was talking to myself so negatively until I was listening to an encouraging message from a friend a few weeks ago that insisted that if we aren’t living out some aspect of our dreams it has to have something to do with the way we are talking to ourselves. So, I started listening to my thoughts and was appalled! I would never, ever on God’s green earth allow anybody to talk to my child that way, or even to me. Yet, I was doing to MYSELF! I wrote down some affirmations and prayers and have been doing them regularly to turn that self-talk around and it has made a huge difference. I feel better, have more energy and get more done each day. This is fabulous. Thank you for sharing!

    • Hi Anne! Isn’t it amazing how evil works? It’s so good that your friend spoke to you and helped you see how silly it all is. I like the idea of those affirmations, that will help when you are tempted to believe all those lies.

      I know! It’s so crazy that we’ll believe that stuff, when we’d fight to the death if someone said that to our children. We need to get better and defending ourselves!

      So glad you liked the post, and especially that it was timely for you too!
      Have a peaceful night, with lots of love from your heart!
      Ceil

  18. Oh, this is good, Ceil. We don’t need to allow that kind of talk in the temple. I too often speak harshly to myself too but I need to stop it.

    “I’ll ask Jesus to be my bouncer; he’s experienced at that. I pray that he will come and throw that voice out of the Temple. Because I ask, he will answer.”

    • Hi Lisa! I think it’s more common than we know. I don’t think there were any comments that couldn’t relate. Evil really knows what works, and I think this negative talk is one way to get a way to make us feel so bad.

      Enough of that noise! I have to remember where it’s coming from, and with the Lord, tell it to leave.
      Nice to see you today 🙂
      Ceil

  19. Trying to drown out all the other voices (and they can be quite loud at times can’t they?) but the voice of truth – Jesus. I have to say, your story of the names reminds me of working in our local middle school and calling kids to the office over the intercom, or letting teachers know they had phone calls. More than once (nerves I think) I got the giggles that were so hard to supress! Like interrupting a class saying , “Val, Shelly is on the phone for you.” Oops, the teacher (a male and fortunately a forgiving Christian man) was named SHelly and his wife calling was named Val. And realizing what I had done a little giggle squeaks out. Oh my…and then there are our friend Ron and Bonnie who I have referred to more than once as Bon and Rhonnie. Again forgiving and here I sit giggling all over again. Lord, forgive me : )

    • Hi Mindy! Hey, any reason to giggle is a good thing! I’m glad I’m not the only one who messes up names. I should have your attitude and just be happy it wasn’t worse 🙂

      Always happy to have you here my friend!
      Ceil

    • Hi Marsha! I hear you. It really is exhausting, both fighting those words and giving in to them.

      I know I have to get better at recognizing the signs, and praying for help to toss them out. It will take vigilance!

      Thank you for reading two blog posts and commenting too. You are a good blog-friend!
      Ceil

  20. Hey Ceil,
    Are you a secret member of the NSA spying on me and eavesdropping on the voices in MY head? Ha! This is such an important message for us, especially as women. We do seem to beat ourselves up when we shouldn’t. At the start of the year I put a post-it note up on my computer reminding myself to think positively and be kind to myself. It helps me change my thoughts, but now thanks to you I have an image of a “bouncer” who won’t allow it. I love that Jesus always has my back! Thanks so much!

    • Hi Peggy! I see that I have been discovered! LOL!

      I love your post-it note idea. Whatever will help defeat those silly voices in our heads is a good thing. Of course, I love the bouncer idea too. I don’t think Jesus wants us to have to put up with all that nonsense for one minute. He just wants to be asked.

      Thank you for your visit Peggy! I always enjoy your comments.
      Have a peaceful night,
      Ceil

  21. Oh my goodness, that fits me to a “T”. It catches us off guard if we aren’t careful and it can spill over to others. I’m so thankful for the Holy Spirit who reminds me to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” – I love the idea of Jesus being a “bouncer” that made me smile. It’s so true, though!! All I have to do is call on Him 24/7. I may have to share that with my ladies group!

    • Hi Natalie! Well, I think it hit a lot of people, it seems to be an epidemic. I like your quote too “every thought captive”. That would certainly stop any evil in it’s tracks.

      I hope your ladies group liked the ‘bouncer’ idea. Let me know what they think 🙂
      Thank you for visiting today Natalie! Have a happy Friday,
      Ceil

  22. It is so true. We can be hardest on ourselves. This post made me stop & think for a minute. I then prayed & asked the Lord for grace to extend to myself at those times that I need it. Thank you for sharing this. I visited from The Friday Five this morning. A day late & I am OK with it 🙂

    • Hi Joanne! How nice to see you here! I think a day late is fine. Heck, a week late is ok too 🙂

      Grace is wonderful gift, and if you pray for it, I know it’ll be there. That’s a great way to combat those negative thoughts.
      Have a peaceful weekend!
      Ceil

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