I stood in the waist-high water of the shallow end of the pool. Not two feet away from the edge, I squinted into the sun to see my little boy standing on the edge of the pool deck.
“Jump to Mommy! You can do it – I’ll catch you. You’ll be fine!”
My little one’s face was a rainbow of emotions. Excitement. Dread. Love. Doubt. Those little feet stayed firmly planted on the deck. Nothing I said seemed to help or encourage a leap into my arms.
Well, there was all that water between us too.
I’m sure thoughts were racing through his mind. Thoughts like:
Will she catch me?
What if I drown?
You know, this doesn’t look like a lot of fun. PASS!
I finally had to give up. Again. “Maybe next time Buddy,” I said with a little sadness. I couldn’t help wishing my child had more trust in me. Haven’t I been worthy of that trust?
I had fed, clothed, napped, Mommy-And-Me’d and treated him to ice pops. I covered outlets, put up safety gates, and caught his flying body as it careened off the bottom of the slide.
But, sometimes it takes a little more.
Remember the story of Thomas the Apostle? How he doubted that Jesus ‘appeared’ to his friends? His doubt was so disturbing to Jesus, that He came back again just for Thomas’ benefit.
What really hit me were the words in John’s Gospel that came after the visit.
Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Christ. ~John 20
The disciples needed Jesus to perform ‘many other’ miracles and signs too, even though He appeared to them after His death. Even though He had come back after dying and rising, they still needed added assurance that He was the Savior.
Jesus, still having to prove Himself. What did He think of the situation?
Will they get it this time?
How many signs will it take?
Why is there this river of doubt between us?
Jesus did everything He was supposed to do. He healed, taught, fed, protected and shared His Spirit. What more could the disciples need?
If you think about it, the apostles were just like my son. They wanted to believe. They wanted to leap over that chasm of doubt, and land in the arms of Jesus. It just took a little more. A little more proof. A little more encouragement.
The good news is that the apostles did come to believe. They did make that leap to become strong, purposeful leaders in the beginning years of the Church. They were rock solid in faith, converting the people they were called to serve.
Back at the pool with my son… He jumped when he got enough encouragement too. Years later he was a member of his high school’s water polo team, winning the state championship four years running.
A little extra. Sometimes, that’s what we need…to finally come to trust.
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