“Life is a Bowl of Cherries”
O.K., who said that, and what the heck does that mean anyway?
Spoiler alert: I’m a little cranky today. Here’s a little background to my mood: I’ve been dealing with sinus pressure, ear pain and constant ringing in my ears for about a month. Two courses of antibiotics and nasal spray got the ear pain under control, but I’m still left with occasional ear pressure (it moves from side to side), and the crickets are still chirping in my head. All the time. 24/7.
Did I say all the time?
Finally at a specialist, I got a hearing test, and was able to share all my symptoms.
Turns out my ears look great, my sinuses passed the exam with flying colors. The very nice doctor told me I have an ear-tube defect which should probably resolve in a month or so. The ear ringing is most likely unrelated, and probably permanent. It’s called ‘tinnitus’, and there is no treatment for it.
So. That didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.
All the way home from the doctor’s office, I talked to God about how cruddy this whole deal is, but if this is what I have to deal with, I’ll do my best. Could always be worse. Stiff upper lip and all that. Until I got home.
My husband came to meet me a the door and asked “How did it go?” Innocent question, and one you’d expect. My response was one I didn’t expect. I sort of fell apart and ended up weeping on his shoulder.
I know my life is a gift. Everything is given to me by God, or allowed by Him. But here’s what else I know. Life events don’t always come all pretty and sparkling and whole. For the most part, life comes to us in pieces, like a puzzle.
I can usually figure them out. Especially the easy ones, like the 25 piece beginner sets that are mostly corners and outside edges. But then there are those 500 and 1000 piece nightmares that take forever just to flip over all the shapes to reveal a little section of color. Finding a corner to anchor myself seems like an impossible task, much less getting into the whole middle section. I feel like this chapter in my life is one big and confusing mess. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out…
I’m working to get past the “1000 piece” confusion stage. I’m doing swallowing exercises to speed up the popping of my eardrums, hopefully relieving the pressure. The chances of the tinnitus going away are slim, but hey…a girl can dream.
I can honestly say that talking to the Lord and laying the whole mess at His feet has really helped. Yep. I took this whole ‘ear-puzzle box’ and dumped it out in front of Him.
I know I can’t do it on my own. But with Him?
Working together, a beautiful scene will emerge. It might not be the one I would have chosen. But it will be ours.
And right now…that’s enough.
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