It was still dark when I reached for the alarm clock. Flinging my arm from under the covers, I felt a sharp ‘zing’ in my shoulder.
That wasn’t the first time. I’d get that pain while grabbing the seatbelt in the car. Stretching my arm to get into a low cabinet was painful too.
I told my husband about it. He told me that he had the same thing. Oh great. Another lovely ‘bonus’ that comes with aging.
I tried to accommodate. I changed my workout routine and I was cleaning less frequently. It didn’t seem to help. Actually, it got worse.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I made an appointment with the doctor.
Turns out I had a ‘frozen shoulder’ on one side and ligament thickening on the other. I accepted the prescription for physical therapy; happy I didn’t need anything invasive.
Now on a journey from brokenness to healing, I am reminded of being on that same path with the Lord. I have been broken, both from him and from his people.
Sometimes the pain comes from fractured relationships or disappointments. Resentment builds up, and I become hardened. “Frozen.” I just stop reaching out.
I’ll keep up the easy relationships, the ones that don’t take too much effort. But the challenging ones? No thanks. I don’t want to get hurt again.
The nagging heartache makes me put myself first too. Instead of joyfully helping a friend, all I think about is the energy it will take. So I start saying no. “I just can’t help you.” Having a broken heart is exhausting.
To be healed, I have to go to my Father. Standing before him, crippled and sore, I look up into his loving eyes. I’m not even sure anymore how got this bad. I just know I need help.
Once I admit that I can’t move, the Lord moves quickly. Under the umbrella of his warm love, my twisted heart relaxes and expands. In the embrace of his love and care, I am healed of resentment and bitterness. I am a new creation.
At first, it sure seemed easier to just remain frozen in my own ego. But that’s not what I am created for…I am created to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly. To do that, I’ll need God’s spiritual therapy. Once that course of treatment is done, I can reach out in love again.
I started physical therapy two weeks ago. The doctor warned me that the therapy would not be pleasant, but it’s needed to loosen the joint and the ligaments. I won’t get better without it.
The physical therapist added that her mom had a frozen shoulder too. She waited so long for treatment that she had to be under anesthesia for treatment. Yikes! I’m glad I went to the doctor when I did.
It’s a cautionary tale for my spirit. When I start feeling those resentments, it’s time to go. I don’t want to get ‘frozen’ again.
I need to see the Healer. I won’t get better without him.
Come and see the photos of my granddaughter’s Baptism on my Facebook page!